“Another thing that makes me upset is the fact that you get your ATM receipts emailed to you.”

“Two dudes punched me in the face and I didn’t do anything about it. Who were they? Oh, they were Juggalos.”

“That bitch is joining the fucking Navy? She went from working at Mama’s Hawaiian BBQ to joining the Navy.”

“What street girl doesn’t say hi back?”

“People work hard, people have jobs. Well, I don’t.”

“Who do I write? Gabrielle Giffords?”